The beginning of the school year is often a time that we hear from parents who are frustrated with their children's behavior. As elementary schoolers head off to school, they look so big and capable marching onto the bus. Yet the minute they get home, their behavior appears more akin to the "terrible twos" than the mature elementary school kid of the same morning. While this "let down" is very typical early in the school year as kids get used to holding it together all. day. long., there are things parents can do to help their children learn to manage emotions in a healthy, productive way. Just because it's normal, doesn't mean it has to be this way! The school transition, like any other challenging emotional time, is a great opportunity to teach kids the skills they need to BEHAVE in ways that they are proud of in spite of their VERY BIG emotions. The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel is a helpful book on this topic. Visualizing the brain is a helpful first step for parents and kids trying to make sense of big emotions. The Left vs. Right Brain and Upstairs vs. Downstairs Brain are two helpful ways to understand the competing parts of the brain; our job as caregivers is to help children integrate both parts of their brains. Tantrums, aggression, outbursts, meltdowns, and other difficult behaviors are a result of disintegration. That is, children (or adults!) get STUCK in one part of the brain and need to learn the skills to access the other part. Left vs. Right Brain![]() Left + right = facts + comprehension Helping children learn to use both their left (logical, "robot") brain and their right (emotional) brain prepares them to live fulfilling lives and have healthy relationships. Quick Tips for Parents
Upstairs vs. Downstairs Brain![]() Upstairs + downstairs = reason and instinct Dr. Siegel refers to the upstairs brain as "under construction" because it is not fully developed until the mid-20's while babies are born with their downstairs brain. Be patient! Downstairs tantrums and outbursts are evidence of a skills deficit, not a lack of motivation to behave. Often children are as frustrated by their lack of self control as we are! Quick Tips for Parents
If you would like to talk about additional ways to help your child manage their emotions, please contact us today. Often group counseling can be a particularly useful strategy to help children gain these valuable skills.
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Meghan Freeman, LCSWArchives
September 2018
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